Last revised April 5
2008
A war had broken
out. Not a war from the past but now, in the present or near future. The
two principal antagonists were two nations, and other countries were
allied with each of these.
I was called upon
to fight, but my sympathies went to both sides, as I had lived in both
countries and spoke both languages. But more importantly I was
resolutely pacifist and wanted nothing to do with killing
people.
In trying to avoid
becoming a soldier I risked being ostracized and condemned, or even
punished as a traitor and a coward. I firmly explained to those who
would listen that in my opinion the greatest act of courage a person
could perform in this context would be to categorically refuse to engage
in the violence, especially in the immediate circumstances where people
and their families were being drawn into the conflict so directly and
personally, and where fighting was often more or less a matter of
self-defense.
The people from one
side had thrust a gun into my hands, and given me a uniform; fight with
us they said, and I felt the sense of power and temptation that comes of
being armed and of having armed friends beside you. If the ‘enemy’
soldiers ran toward us I would be in great danger but at least had the
power to mow them down; whereas to drop the gun and stand my ground and
await their approach without turning and fleeing demanded an even
greater courage, a courage I wasn’t at all sure I
possessed.
I had a special
ability that others lacked and of which they knew nothing – I could fly.
I thought that anyone could do it if they only knew the trick. I had
only to release myself, to let go of my body or of the earth, I’m not
sure which is the better description, and I would rise up in the air.
And then I could direct my body in flight, high above the earth, high
above the slamming of guns and chaos of the war and the amassed fields
of troops.
I decided to put my
gift to good use, at least as I saw it. I would write messages of peace,
tracts of peace propaganda so to speak, explaining the reasons why I
thought people ought to refuse to join the violence regardless of what
‘side’ they were on or to which nationality they belonged, and even
regardless of any terrible injustices they had already endured at the
hand of the enemy. I could drop the tracts to the earth as is sometimes
done from an aircraft, only I would be the aircraft.
There was one
problem with my flying, a problem I encounter again and again. Though I
can rise into the sky at will and unfailingly, I sometimes have
difficulty propelling myself in the desired direction with any useful
speed. It is as if I had already learned how but then forgotten, and I
float and slowly drift like a ship without a sail or a balloon without
wind.
Then I have to
concentrate and introspect to remember how to achieve propulsion.
Finally I do manage, and fly as one should, but I lose a lot of time
with these delays, and during a war when people and their families are
in great and immediate danger of being murdered by each other, there is
no time to
lose.