In this society at
least, we are usually in such a frenetic rush to fill every waking
moment with activity; whether constructive or destructive, or whether an
energetic activity like work or sport, or a passive one like drinking
coffee, smoking or television. We always have to be doing something, we
always have to have something ‘on the go’.
As if we were
afraid to ever stop, even for five minutes, just to quietly be, without
even occupying our mind with planning, worrying, reviewing our day, or
other kinds of thinking.
Are we afraid of
glimpsing something through a patch of stillness or silence, as though
through a fleeting blue hole in the clouds? Maybe we are afraid of
glimpsing infinity, or eternity, or mortality, or even our own
selves.
There is a sense in
which to meditate is to pause and look through those blue holes in the
clouds – quietly, trustingly.
We become addicted
to our activities. Sometimes we seem to press on just for the sake of
not stopping, not even to consider what we're doing them for, or whether
our endeavors will bear fruit.
When I’m alone, I
may find myself moving restlessly between my reading, the guitar, making
coffee, the radio, preparing supper, doing my laundry, sitting and
thinking ... But sometimes there comes a moment when I have done enough
of all that for the time being; I need nothing more, and nothing more
needs to be done.
And then
what?